The 21/90 Rule

Hi Super Moms! 👋🏼

Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately? No, truly. Have you really looked at yourself? If you haven’t, let me start out by saying that you’re a pretty amazing and special woman. I mean... look at all the things you do!

Did you know the modern Mom has more responsibilities than ever before? We are designated so many hats: Mom, employer, chauffeur, cook, house maid, entertainer, bedroom romancer, supporter, budgeter— the list goes on.

Sometimes while wearing these hats we might drop a few and lose track of what is important to ourselves… as individuals.

I have had tons of #RealMomMoments when I look at myself in the mirror and think, “Am I happy?” When I get to the point of asking myself that question, it means something needs to change.

This is when I apply the 21/90 Rule. This means it takes 21 days to form a NEW habit and 90 days to form a NEW lifestyle. How do we achieve this? Well, I am glad you asked! There are a few steps to follow in order to successfully achieve the 21/90 Rule. Read more to find out how to create successful habits. (Of course, as always, message me or leave a comment below with any questions 😊)

Here are my S.M.A.R.T. steps to achieving the 21/90 Rule:


Step 1 in achieving the 21/90 Rule is to identify a SPECIFIC goal. This means details! The more specific and vivid you can get with your goal, the more attached you become to it. You might be wondering, “What does that look like?” Don’t worry! I have steps for that too 😉

1. Spend 60 seconds quickly writing all the things you want to change about your life. I want to be happier. I want a better body. I want my kids to listen better. I want a better job. I want more money. I want a better partner.

2. Once you have your list, I want you to circle only one thing you want to change. You will find the most success focusing on one goal at a time rather than trying to change multiple aspects of your life.

BUT, believe it or not, normally changing one thing in your life can effectively improve other areas of your life as well. For example, you start to work out more so you have more energy— you play with your kids more, they become happier— you start to become proud of your body again, your partner notices— you want to have sex again, the relationship improves. Many aspects of life are tied in together, so pick the one that is for you rather than anyone else. 3. Get specific! The more specific and focused your goal is, the more likely you are to achieve it. For example, I want to get in shape. Ok, well what does that mean to you? Do you want to be shredded like you’re doing a fitness show? Which category would you do? Do you want to have a big booty and small waist? How many inches do you want your waist? Do you want a Kim K booty or something a little smaller? Be so specific that anyone would be able to read your goal and imagine it.


Step 2: Once you have fully imagined your new goal, you must determine how you can measure your progress or final result. I do this by creating a plan. For example, my specific goal is to place first in the June 27th Figure Competition. Here are my steps to achieving that goal with measurable points: First, I found a picture of a fitness competitor I felt I could look like. I looked at her body composition, weight, and what a typical competitor weighs for their first show. Next, I found a workout program tailored to that goal; and I have my sister train me as well - she is a pro bikini competitor. I make sure I take my measurements and weight before starting. I also do before pictures as well. Then, I bought a diet plan targeted to that goal. I make sure I measure all my food so that I am doing what I can to achieve my goal. After that, I write weekly goals on my mirror so I can read it/ imagine it/ measure my progress. “I will weigh 137 lbs by January 2nd.” Typically 1-2 lbs/ week is safe. Last, I started executing my plan. Daily workouts, meal prepping, weight monitoring, goal tracking, etc.


Step 3: Make sure your plan is attainable. For my first show, I have allowed myself 6 months to train, diet, and create a lifestyle. 6 months of preparation seems like a lot but it has been attainable, comfortable and enjoyable. I consistently run, eat cleanly, and live a lifestyle aligned to my goal. If I rushed into it I would be miserable, under eating, suffering and uncomfortable. Give yourself time to attain a long-term lifestyle change rather than immediate gratification.


Step 4: Ok ladies, here comes the hard talk. In reality, can you and will you realistically achieve this goal? Will you realistically commit yourself to losing 20, 40, 60 lbs? Will you jump back up even if you fail along the way? Will you make the time to go to the gym or see that counselor? Will you realistically do it? Only you know what you will do, must do, can do to create the life YOU want.


Step 5: Can this goal be achieved in a timely manner or in a timeframe conducive to your lifestyle? Is it timely or time wise to spend 3 years losing weight? Maybe or maybe not. Is it time wise to spend 3 years going to counseling? Depends on your traumas. But, maybe there’s alternatives that are more conducive to the time you have. Maybe you commit yourself to some inspirational seminars and start reading positive books. You start feeding yourself daily with podcasts and build yourself up while you are going to counseling.

Hitting it in every direction will shorten the time frame and speed up the healing. As Moms we all know we are limited on time. So get creative with how to hit these goals and make them timely for your lifestyle.

What goals have you set for yourself this year— month— week?

Stay Strong,


Recent Posts

See All